One Step Closer

Well, we are one step closer to bringing Carolyn home. Cindy indicated in the last blog the NP dosed her down to her lowest amount since being in the hospital. On Sunday they removed completely off of her meds and have been using Tylenol as needed. She was very good yesterday. It was our first time to give her a bath and she did very well. Cindy and I on the other hand need practice. Our nurse was very patient with us and gave us some good tips to make bath time more productive and fun. She is getting bigger each day and started to be more communicative with us with some coos and facial expressions. To top it off the nurse told us that she is starting to sleep through the night. I feel like we are cheating the system but I am sure that we will have moments that we will be up with her. We did have some problems before leaving for the hospital on Sunday. Our well decided to quit on us so we do not have any water in house. We live in the city, but have a well. Thanks to some great friends, we were able to do Carolyn's laundry last night but it made it a hassle getting ready for work today. We hope it will be repaired today and we can get back to normal.

We are still taking things day-to-day but we are hoping to have her home before the weekend. Today and tomorrow will tell us alot on how she is doing. My parents are on they way up from Texas today with my sister and two nieces so it would be nice to have her out so they can see her without the complication of the hospital. If she does get out it will be a great 4th of July and I can break the grill out of hibernation. We have been eating out every evening because we get back so late from the hospital. We have gotten into a routine at each restaurant and it would be nice to get into some type of home cooking routine. Thanks again for everyone that has been helping us work through this and the next time I do this I hope the title is "HOME".

Troy

Day 36

Well, we are on day 35 of trips to Indy to spend time with Carolyn at Wishard. Troy and I are both pretty exhausted after last weekend. Tuesday was a long day, first we found out that the resident was no longer on Carolyn's case. We were actually not upset about that at all and now we are working with the nurse practitioner. The nurse practitioner has more experience with babies going through withdraw and will be a better fit for us and Carolyn. Then on our way to the hospital on Tuesday we were involved in a minor car accident. We were sitting at a stop light and someone hit us from behind. We found out later that she was trying to answer her cell phone and wasn't paying attention to the road. We were okay and Troy has to take the Outback into the dealer to get it checked out. I was pretty upset and glad that Troy took care of getting driver information and calling the police. This delayed our trip, which I wasn't happy with at all, and we were unable to meet with the nurse practitioner.

Wednesday night we were able to talk to the nurse practitioner and she explained to us her strategy for Carolyn's recovery. She spent more time with us last night, then the resident did during the whole 5 weeks. She told us that Carolyn was doing really well and that she would lower her medication another level today. She will probably stay on this dose over the weekend and then will be lowered again on Monday. Troy asked if she would be home by August! She laughed and stated that she hopes to have her home in the next ten days. Troy and I have decided that we can't get our hopes up anymore about her release. We just have to take one day at a time.

When we got home, we did have a nice letter from our fertility doctor, Dr. Cline. I wrote him a couple weeks back and let him know that because of him we found our adoption agency that led us to Carolyn. We sent him pictures and let him know that she was one of his miracles. We weren't expecting a reply, but we got one. He was very happy about our news and told us that God selects our parents before we are even born and that Carolyn was meant to be in our family. He is a great man and doctor and we hope he gets to enjoy his retirment!! -- Cindy

Father's Day

Notice that there was no "happy" in the father's day title. It was a little sad but in the end better for everyone. I got back from my trip around 11:30 pm Saturday night and I went to check on Carolyn at the hospital. She was doing fine and sleeping, but was fussy most of the day. Friday, we were told bring stuff to stay overnight in the hospital on Sunday to prepare to bring Carolyn home on Monday. Needless to say we were both excited about doing this. However Cindy had told me that on Saturday that Carolyn was fussy and hard to keep calmed down after they had taken her off of the medicine on Friday. In the back of our minds we were a little concerned that the medical staff might put her back on the medicine, but after I saw her Saturday night/Sunday morning I did not think this would be a problem. On our way down to Indy we got a phone call from her physician indicating that she would have to go back on the medicine and they would continue to wean her down from her previous amount. I was not convinced at this point that this would be the best for Carolyn because of the amount of babes in the NICU and how the babies are assigned to the nurses. I was concerned that Carolyn would not have the comfort measures that Cindy and I could provide at home. The physician had me talk to her boss and he indicated that by removing Carolyn from the meds now could cause some side effects that could hurt Carolyn in the future. He also outlined his plan to remove her from the meds slowly. Needless to say this took the wind out of our sails. It was a quiet ride to Indy with the occasional sob. We did talk more at lunch and saw the perspective of what is best for Carolyn at this point. We say we want her home to take care of her but is that being selfish for our own needs? I think that is the hardest lesson to learn as a parent is what is best for my interests and what is best for the child's? Sometimes they are together but sometimes there needs to be some hard thinking involved. So we will be traveling to Indy at least one more week and maybe more in order to get our daughter home safely and peacefully. We never figured that this journey would take this long but now we are putting Carolyn in God's hands and let the medical staff heal her so that she will be well when she comes home. Thanks again for all of your prayers and support. You all will never understand how much this means to us.

Troy

Is it friday yet?

This has been one long week. They took Carolyn's medication down yesterday, but didn't take her off completely, like we were hoping. Today, Troy called the resident and talked to her about what her plans were for Carolyn. He explained to her that Carolyn needed to be home and that we had the stuff needed to help comfort her during her bad days and that we needed to start working on that goal. She listened to his concerns and agreed to take her off the medication tomorrow. They will then monitor Carolyn for another 3-5 days. Please keep Carolyn in your prayers. Please pray for the staff at Wishard and also pray to give Carolyn strength to get through these next few days. If she doesn't have any set backs, Carolyn will be home soon.

Cindy

One day closer!

Carolyn is doing better each day. Troy and I went to see her last night and she was being fussy, but that is what babies do. She was really hungry and pretty much kept eating, until she finally fell asleep. We are hoping that today is the day they take her off the medication and she will be home soon. I am anxious to get to the hospital today, so that I can find out how she did last night and if we are one day closer to getting her home.

Troy is headed to San Antonio today for the NATA convention. I was supposed to go with him on this trip, but I decided to stay behind to be with Carolyn. I know that it is hard for him to be away right now and we miss him already. I don't want him to miss bringing Carolyn home, but I also don't want her in the hospital one day longer than she needs to be. Troy will be home Saturday night and maybe he will have a surprise waiting for him!! All we can do is hope and pray she will be released this Friday or Saturday. Thanks again to everyone for your support and prayers. We got our strength from you and couldn't have made it through without everyone. The outpouring of generosity is just so overwhelming and we really appreciate what everyone is doing for us.

This is a rainbow that Troy and I saw on the way home from the hospital one day. Troy looked at me and said, "Here is our answer, Carolyn is going to be okay!" -- Cindy

Are we there yet?

The first thing that came to my mind on the title of this blog was "Are we there yet?" Today was a good day. Troy and I went to church and we were brought to the front of the church to receive our membership certificate. Our minister talked to the congregation about Carolyn and her stay in the NICU. We did a special prayer for her and I stood up at the alter and cried. It was really touching and we received many well wishes and everyone is excited to meet her. There are two women, at the church, that are also named Carolyn. They are very excited to meet our Carolyn!!

After church, we headed to the hospital. We are going on day 24 of trips to Wishard to spend time with Carolyn. Today, was a good day. We received a call from the resident on call and she told us that Carolyn did wonderfully through the night and things were looking good. They didn't lower her medication today, but they should lower tomorrow. This should be the last dosage decrease, before they stop giving her the medication all together. Hopefully, Troy will talk to our resident tomorrow and she will give us some idea of when Carolyn will be released to come home. We are hoping that she will be able to come home the end of this week, but we won't know for sure, until we talk to the doctor. Troy heads to San Antonio on Wednesday for his NATA convention. I was supposed to go with him, but decided that I needed to stay behind with Carolyn. I don't want her to spend one more minute than she has to in the hospital. Troy may miss the homecoming, but he will be home Saturday night. He won't mind, if she is home by Father's Day!

Carolyn had many visitors this weekend. Yesterday, my friend Kyndra stopped by to meet Carolyn. Kyndra got her a lot of cute gifts and a cute bear for her. Sunday, Grammy and Grampy Cook came to spend some time with her. The Gibbs family also came to see Carolyn and we decided to take a break and go with them to have a late lunch at the Mug N' Bun!! Ryan, Julie, and Taylor have been wonderful support for us. Taylor can't go into the NICU to see Carolyn, so hopefully soon she will get to see her. Carolyn was awake for most of the day and went to sleep after her 5 p.m. feeding. She was really relaxed and sleeping nicely, when we finally decided to head home for the evening.

On our way home, I decided to call my niece (Lauren) and nephew (Parker). It was good to talk to them, I haven't seen them in awhile and really miss them. Parker is never on the phone very long and he told us how excited he is to meet Carolyn. He told me that he wanted to "hug the baby!" Lauren was really in the mood to talk. I ended up being on the phone with her for 45 minutes. I never knew a 4 year old had so much to talk about. It was fun talking to her and it really helped to take away some of my stress. We just talked and giggled like little girls. Uncle Troy finally had to end the conversation, so that I could update my sister on Carolyn. Troy said that Lauren is 4 years old going on 16!! I think we all agreed, but it was still fun. Lauren is also excited to meet Carolyn and is ready to go out for some ice cream with her. I am very glad that they are excited about their new cousin.

Thanks again to everyone for their support and prayers. -- Cindy

A small light at the end of the tunnel

Cindy and I got some more good news today with Carolyn. They dosed her down again today with her medicine. We have figured that we have two more doses left until she will taken off and monitored for 48 - 72 hours. She really is doing well calming down when she does get upset and we both think that is a big plus! She does not like to change clothes but being a girl I am sure that will change with time. She is now 7 lbs and 9oz. I have included a photo of her room at the NICU so you can see what her set-up is. She is in a private room so we can do whatever we want to to try to make it feel like home (like she knows what that is yet!). Kathy, her nurse today, came up with the idea of the bouncie seat in the crib. It works well when she does not want to go to sleep and we need to leave. That is almost every day this week. That has been the hardest thing for us. She seems to know when we have to leave and does what ever she has to do to keep us there. We also found out from, her night nurse, that she likes to be up from 1 am to 4 am. Something to look forward to when we get her home.

Carolyn had some visitors today. My brother Alan stopped by to drop off some gifts and hold his new niece. He got her some really nice Disney storybooks that will be fun to read to her. Shawn and Theresa Comer were in area and stopped by as well. It was good to see everyone and start the process of meeting Carolyn.

This process we both feel, although not optimal, has allow us to bond with Carolyn without the distractions of home. I think it would have taken us longer to go through the bonding process if we would have brought her home right away.

Too many distractions, we now have been able to talk about how our lives will change when she comes home. When we are there with her we don't talk about work or what we have to do at home. It mostly consists of how we are going to take care of her.

That is a great time to discuss another thing I learned today. Meth labs love baby formula. I was talking to her nurse and mentioned that at our Wal-Mart the baby formula was kept behind the counter with the cigarettes and booze. I thought this was a little different if not down right weird until Kathy informed me that they use it to help make meth. How can something so natural be a part of something so bad? Go figure. I have a small video of Carolyn waving bye bye. Until next time...

Troy

Good Day!

Cindy and I were ready to see Carolyn today after not going to Indy yesterday. Our meeting was canceled but I did not find out until 4:00 pm so we worked on a few things around the house we had been neglecting. When we arrived today we found out that they dosed her down from her medication today. This is good news and one more step closer to bringing her home. She also has gained some weight since Friday and now is up to 7 lbs and 7oz. It will probably be the only time in her life that she is excited about gaining weight! The nurses indicated that she had been fairly calm and is starting to level off in how much she is eating each time.

One thing that we are dealing with right now is how our three cats are adjusting. They seem to know that something is going on but not sure of what. There has been a "lack of attention" factor since we are spending half the day in Indy but I have noticed some acting out by our youngest cat, T.S. Last night at around 12:30 am I felt an attack of my leg from the outside of the bed. He usually sleeps with us at night but has more awake and more obnoxious here lately. I think it is because we are not at home as much but I wonder if he is figuring out that he won't be the baby in the family anymore.

I want to say thank you to all of the people that have been helping us into parenthood. We have had an outpouring of support in alot of ways from alot of people. It really has been humbling to see so many people want to welcome Carolyn in to this world. Cindy has been working on a journal that when she gets old enough, she will see that it was not only us that cared about her. I find it fascinating that when Cindy and I talk about her the adoption part of the equation never really comes in to the conversation. Even our parents really don't bring it up as well. She is a part of family and it feels like she always has been.

It has been a long day and I feel T.S. is now attacking my feet.

Troy

Introduction

This a a new thing for me. As most of you know Cindy and I adopted a little girl on May 21, 2009. Carolyn Rose has been a gift from God. This blog will be alot of things, but mostly updates on Carolyn, her health and Cindy and I adjusting as new parents. We also to share our adoption story and how God has his hand in this experience from the day that Cindy and I met.

This first post will be an update on how Carolyn is doing. We are into week 3 in the NICU. Carolyn in doing well. She has surpassed her birth weight and eating normally. We are still working out a consistent eating and sleeping schedule but being in a building where you cannot tell if it day or night I am not sure if that is much of a problem right now. She is doing well with the dosing down of her medications and we are hoping for additional reduction tomorrow. She is more awake and I cannot believe how big her eyes are when she has them open. She is perfectly normal right now and I am still in awe that we have been blessed with this little one. Tomorrow will be hard. Cindy and I have to go to one last adoption education meeting in Bluffton, IN. We will not be able to make it to Indy to see Carolyn. This will be the first day in the last two weeks that we have not been to Indy. Cindy's parents will go in to take care of Carolyn tomorrow and we will start back on Tuesday. It will be good for her to bond with her one set of her grandparents. All in all she is in good hands. The NICU nurses are great and Carolyn is one of the favorites there because she is as close to a normal baby that they have there. They love taking her out of her bed and playing with her. This journey has started fast, but Cindy and I will be looking forward to getting Carolyn home and creating more special memories as we begin the process of raising her. I will do my best to update this blog so say tuned for more up dates!

If anyone is interested in adoption, please feel free to talk to us. We would be more than happy to share our story and give you information about the adoption process.

Troy