Father's Day

Notice that there was no "happy" in the father's day title. It was a little sad but in the end better for everyone. I got back from my trip around 11:30 pm Saturday night and I went to check on Carolyn at the hospital. She was doing fine and sleeping, but was fussy most of the day. Friday, we were told bring stuff to stay overnight in the hospital on Sunday to prepare to bring Carolyn home on Monday. Needless to say we were both excited about doing this. However Cindy had told me that on Saturday that Carolyn was fussy and hard to keep calmed down after they had taken her off of the medicine on Friday. In the back of our minds we were a little concerned that the medical staff might put her back on the medicine, but after I saw her Saturday night/Sunday morning I did not think this would be a problem. On our way down to Indy we got a phone call from her physician indicating that she would have to go back on the medicine and they would continue to wean her down from her previous amount. I was not convinced at this point that this would be the best for Carolyn because of the amount of babes in the NICU and how the babies are assigned to the nurses. I was concerned that Carolyn would not have the comfort measures that Cindy and I could provide at home. The physician had me talk to her boss and he indicated that by removing Carolyn from the meds now could cause some side effects that could hurt Carolyn in the future. He also outlined his plan to remove her from the meds slowly. Needless to say this took the wind out of our sails. It was a quiet ride to Indy with the occasional sob. We did talk more at lunch and saw the perspective of what is best for Carolyn at this point. We say we want her home to take care of her but is that being selfish for our own needs? I think that is the hardest lesson to learn as a parent is what is best for my interests and what is best for the child's? Sometimes they are together but sometimes there needs to be some hard thinking involved. So we will be traveling to Indy at least one more week and maybe more in order to get our daughter home safely and peacefully. We never figured that this journey would take this long but now we are putting Carolyn in God's hands and let the medical staff heal her so that she will be well when she comes home. Thanks again for all of your prayers and support. You all will never understand how much this means to us.

Troy